A poem for YOU

Lighters

Menapak, menunggu hingga ceria bawa pergi rasa ini

Kala asap sudah melayang tinggi dan ceria itu menjadi abu

Putaran-putaran masa lalu seakan menusuk dalam

Meremukkan asa yang tinggal setitik

Bahagia ini tak sempurna, tanpa sejumput senyum itu

Nafas ini tak akan sama, tanpa cahaya tawamu

Remuk berkarat inti jiwa ini

Teringat bagaimana banyak permohonanmu belum terpenuhi

Semua Tanya tak terjawab, ketika terlihat sosok cantik terbaring tanpa cahaya..tanpa kata

Semua penyesalan merasuk, meretakkan semua mimpi

Langit kita harusnya lebih berwarna - bersama

Masih banyak cerita dan pencapaian yang harusnya kita gores

Tinggal rindu ini, sendiri

Buat seakan pagi tak lebih dari rangkaian-rangkaian mimpi, harap kau ada saat mentari tebar pagi

Dapatkah aku terbangun, saat kau masih beri senyum

Namun malam demi malam harus terentang lebih jauh

Pagi ini kucoba angkat jiwa tinggi melihat angkasa

Hingga saat kita bertemu lagi kawan…

Senyummu akan jadi terang di langit

Yang akan ingatkan langkahku

Melangkah tiap detik pencapaian, dengan keyakinan raih tiap mimpi-mimpi kita

Tak akan kulupakan tiap detik bersamamu

Tak akan kulupakan semangatmu

Tak akan kulepas jabat tanganmu

Tak akan kulepas janji denganmu

Akan ku rentangkan tanganku

Akan ku berdiri, berjalan lagi – walau kau tak disisi

Percaya bahwa, satu saat nanti aku bisa menunggumu di sisi jalan

Dan tunjukkanmu hasil-hasil anganku… semoga senyummu menjemputnya.

Dedicated for Jessica Jo & her great friends | Gandhi School Ancol | Atma Jaya University

29 – 8 – 2011

By Anddy Steven

“Marvel not at this: for the hour is coming, in the which all that are in the graves shall hear his voice, and shall come forth; they that have done good, unto the resurrection of life” - John 5:28, 29

Project Anddy 03

All the writers of this blog are lecturers, all of those years of teaching, we meet lots of different, yet unique, individuals that we call STUDENTS.

So the topic of our writing will be about our students. I lost one of my best students, Jessica Jo, she passed away and it was a great lost for me. So before its too late..why don't we write something for them....

Individuals who had given us their trust and who had taught us a lot, in so many dimensions.

A Poem for Jessica Jo

Silent

I stood beside

With the crowd, mostly with black

I stare with salty water almost dropped from my eyes

And I ask why? This is too soon, Too fast

I walked..with heavy steps…

Remembering each of those lessons in the classroom

Where her smile enclosed every time she utter “Sir…”

Equipped with lovely eyes stared at me

Still attached in my memory, when she walked and passed me with those genuine smile

Rewarding each effort that I made, by running, appreciating, and giving

Now I stood beside you

With those three people stared at you

Look white, and I said “hi…”

But I didn’t find the same smile, the same words, the same sound, the same eyes

That day when I said goodbye, never thought it will be the last…

Never crossed in my mind it will be the end, with a bold period.

If I had more time.. I would say.. “Thank you and Forgive me”

If I had more time.. I would ask.. “What do you want the most?”

If I had more time.. I would ask.. “Do you need any help?”

If I had more time.. I would ask.. “Can we talk a bit longer?”

If I had more time.. I would ask.. “Do you want to hear other funny story of my life?”

If I had more time.. I would say.. “Why don’t we meet and laugh together?”

If you just could answer.. I would fulfill it all

But now, I stand next to you

Just staring at you sleeping, silent

I know in my heart I could only speak

I walked home with such emptiness that can never be described

I can say good bye to you, but not like this…

But the moment will come, when we can meet and share laughter again

Bye student.. it was a great honor to be able to teach such a remarkable student like you.

Thank you for giving me reasons to keep teaching

Thank you for believing, thank you for all the reward that you gave in my life

Till that day when we can meet again…

Dedicated to Jessica Jo – Gandhi School Ancol | Atma Jaya University | 27-08-10

By Anddy Steven

“If a man die, shall he live again? All the days of my appointed time I wait, till my change come. Thou shalt call, and I will answer thee: thou wilt have a desire to the work of thine hands” – Job 14:14-15 King James Version

Contradictions..

You know..

When you are pretty, sometimes you think High

When you are smart, you see beyond imagination

When you think you are not smart, when failures become a habit

You would think you are a looser indeed.

When you think GOD not even fair enough, after you can breath on free air

When you see your work just as a job that need to be done

When you wake up and believe that this is just another day of your boring life

You would think to end all of your days by putting pity on yourself

But hey...life is not square

It was built to teach you on each day

It was shaped with elements that will inspire you on each path

It was created to make you able to see things beyond reality, beyond what eyes can see

Life is round, and you have to take each walk with certain level of certainty

Life is not a box

Its dimensions will force you to accommodate changes

Each difficulties will ask you to step differently without loosing you true identity

To see beyond the sky and face failure as another step of success

and to trust GOD even more...

And wait till life is answered....

Anddy Steven 7.05.11

ROCK YOUR LIFE!

PROJECT YANI - 03 (Source)

Hi, fellas! I know we usually use pictures for our themes, but this time I wanna do something a bit different. Our next theme is a short prayer by Michael Leunig, a great writer whose works I read when I was still in Cork, Ireland. Lately, I've been contradicting myself a lot, so this short prayer really inspires me :P

"God bless our contradictions, those parts of us which seem out of character. Let us be boldly and gladly out of character. Let us be creatures of paradox and variety: creatures of contrast; of light and shade: creatures of faith. God be our constant. Let us step out of character into the unknown, to struggle and love and do what we will. Amen."

Happy writing! :D

Project Anddy 02 True Shine

Deliberately, darkness had reached deep into lights

It went deeper into soul…my soul

Everything seems pitch black, with tears dropping white.

Flowing like air streaming dull,

how can I breath in the deepest ocean?

Deeper & deeper, with pain and sorrow

It’s like a nest full of crow

The inclination of hatred and shallow

Walking down the hole

With empty hands farsighted never ending tomorrow.

Standing is just too hard to digest

Till the light burst with compassion

Touching every bit of wound rest in my locked chest

Opening every corner of pain

Swallow the pity of heart

With a white tough Knights

You came with the sweetness of joy

Bring True shine that alight the darkness

Perches into soul once unreachable…

Your light is a blessing into this heart….

And with all the heavenly power…I will hold it eternally.

By Anddy Steven

PROJECT ANDDY 02, The Surface

The still water greeted me that afternoon,
A somewhat complecity lies in its body.
It might not seem that quiet and calm,
There are still surfaces to feel and explore..

False first impression is what you may have,
Of that still water on the quiet afternoon.
When the sun unwillingly gives,
Its uncompromising ray of orange blades..

Pronouncing proudly to the world,
That he has the ultimate power.
Undeniably can heal and destroy at will.
Vividly he stared at the still water that afternoon..

A little ripple and bubble splashes,
When the mighty seagull plunged his feet
To catch the now squirming fish on his claws..

The stillness has broken,
A life has been stolen from her.
A sudden gush of wind has change her structure.
Reflection of the trees now,
Playing on the surface.
Gurgled, Burglered, disturbed!

Novenia
23.10.2010
12.20

Just for a While

Pull the oars
And let us afloat;
Lie back on board
And bask in the sun.
Just for a while.
Forget the pain
And let me kiss you;
Play make-believe
And savor the lie.
Just for a while.
Before we reach
The shore of reality
Where we've chosen
Different sand to step on.


Cork, Ireland
Aug 11, 2010
12:07 pm

PROJECT ANDDY - 02

My theme, as always, is based on nature perspective..since nature has always been the source of reflection..of joy, sorrow or even Pain!!!

Project Alex 02: SPIRAL

Kawat berduri melilit dan menggantung tetapi, aku tidaklah mati…
Aku hidup karena tidak bisa merasakan sakit, mengapa? aku bisu!
Sepatah kata seperti beban berat; Ingin menancap paku tetapi
tanah terlalu jauh dari pijakan. Meludah tak sampai basah,
menusuk kulit seperti terbius tengah-tengah bercinta sepah.
Binalnya kawat berduri melilit habis, tebas api dan angin, meraung.
Satu persatu tiap sengketa tumbang bagai rumput patah tulang.

Yang disebut sebagai mayat adalah bukanlah yang terpaku diam
tetapi, kepada yang hidup namun tak berujar dan bersikap.
Matinya hidupmu adalah kelopak yang tidak mau berkembang,
walaupun sinar memperkosanya tetapi tak satu pun helai
yang rontok dari pijakan. Tak runtuh dari rajam dan tusuk.
Aku adalah yang bukanlah mayat tersebut. Lihatlah! Aku masih
diam tak berucap tetapi, mataku berotasi dan nafasku membelah
debu-debu di bawah dan angin-angin di sekitar. Meraung anjing.

Semakin lama kawat berduri menjilati seluruh lapisan leherku,
Aku tidak merasakan sakit, hanya dapat mendengar endapan
pori-pori kulit mendefinisikan arti kata bebal dan sontoloyo.
Menerima setiap suapan nasi basi dan sampah busuk dari semua
yang berlalu lalang--yang tidak bereaksi melepaskan ikatan--
hanya memberikan makanan, tanpa memberikan minuman.
Aku bukan hiburan! Aku bukan hiburan! Aku butuh disanggah!

Ah! Aku bisa gila! Kawat berduri ini semakin membuatku meringis
karena aku buta, karena aku tuli, karena aku bisu!
Semua hal tentanglah pintu yang menjadi masa depan,
dari pelepasan hukuman gantung dan juga, dari
segala macam mati rasa dan kepala batu.

4 Agustus 2010
SPIRAL
MOONSTONE

PROJECT ALEX 02: Dear Destiny..

Hey sweet destiny..
Don't you play tricks on me!
Just dance with me,
Under the fullmoon in a midsummer night..

Wrath of anger might be envious,
Alas, that's what he always do..
Let him burried deep in rage,
So he'll weep..weep in vain..

A masquerade in disguise..
Might be a charming fellow..
Or a gorgeous lady..
Who am I to decide?

Let me just dance with sweet dear destiny..

Novenia - 27.04.2010 - 23.36

PROJECT ALEX 02: PATAHLAHATI

Mari, tikamlah jantungku!
Pastikan detaknya tiada
S’bab sakit itu
Sayat lukalukaluka
S’tiap tarikan nafasku.
Enggan lagi ‘tuk rasa.
Hancur kini kedokku;
Cukup sudah purapura.
Bunuh aku…
Lekas!

April 18, 2010
21:13

PROJECT ALEX 02 -The Essence of Heart

Essence of Heart!

Romeo:

Yes Its me..

Again..

Wording out loud in the open

Uttering the voices that can’t be heard by your mind.

To speak loud & clear, to make you hear of what my mind wants to say…

It’s just about this Romeo that need perfection

Life, breath, dream and hope

Not to mention the spirit lies within

To embrace true soul of your piece of heart

Can’t it be a dream in the sun???

Juliet:

Oh, is it you?

No it can’t be…

I swear upon the universe, that this can’t be!

This is, whatever this is, it is not true!

Perhaps, perhaps, I am going mental as the voices become blurry each second…

My heart…

She becomes weak and fragile every time your soft voice linger

Alas, your enduring silence holds me back all this year!

I was there at the corner of your heart,

Wanting, waiting and withering…

And now you dare to utter those cruel words that have kept me in the dark all this time?!

Romeo:

Cruel it is then..

When the soft tender voices that try to embrace thee..

The whole idea is simplicity of heart…I want you to be the beholder of my half soul

But you broke it into pieces of scattered dream..hanging up high

where no hand could reach

What I have is pure yet earnest.

But why I’m bleeding now, being pushed and derelict?

Juliet:

I did not pushed you!

How dare you punish me with those cruel and cold words to me!!

Breaking every inch of my bones, of my heart, of my soul…

I used to linger for your touch, for your voice, for your kiss

But now the ghost inside of me detest you!

Now after years of yearning, you are not the Romeo I hoped for…

Romeo:

Yet even those words..even those last words

I will wait for thee..even deep in my hatred

My sincere heart will remains..loving thee bit by bit

Second each second..drop by drop

Pieces by pieces..

My tender heart is as certain as death

As eternity as the Flame of Syeol

…my love will remain.

6 March 2010

Written by Anddy Steven & Deisha

Alex Theme 02

Here is my new theme.. Inspired by Theater, mask and all of things... I choose this picture as our next theme ^^ ha8

PROJECT NOVENIA 02:

I am a virgin at my darkness spot
everybody is sick! I need some blood!
Hey Vampires! Die, perish, die!

Loosing the touch of life, is having yourself in the middle of the ocean.
You're trapped without any sign of whatsoever, you'll be just you,
and the greatest thing is that, there'll be none of voices except yours!
Having the grudges in life is like being throttled by harsh waves.
You're verbally slapped by some ass-faces, whoppin whores who talk cheap,
they're all cheap, they're just mollusk, they're dependent, they're weak!

I am a virgin at my darkness spot
everybody is God! I need some prick!
Hey Vampires! Die, perish, die!

PROJECT NOVENIA 02 - When I Dream of Blue & Gray

When I dream of Blue & Gray

Ingin kupetik rimanya saat kutatap tiap sudut jiwa di tepian batu itu. Tapi a pa sanggupku hanya seonggok pria hampir tua yang tak menarik apa-apa selain tiap tetes derita di sepanjang hidupnya. Tapi yang patut dipikirkan oleh sang BATU di tengah adalah Pria ini renta karena Semangatnya.

Namun, aku seperti ingin bisu saja hingga tak ucapkan kata-kata. Ingin aku hanya bisa diam saja dan tak gerakkan tiap sel otak ini untuk berhenti berpikir dan tidak meratap.

Namun...biru lautnya terus bangkitkan semangat..hingga bilapun kau tidak menjawabku aku tetap akan menahan setiap segi-segi jiwaku untuk rapatkan di dermagamu.

Mungkin aku sekarang hanya berjalan di Tepi..bermimpi menaruh batuku sendiri di atas hamparan biru yg indah dari dirimu.

Aku sudah ingin duduk saja nikmati sisanya...biar indahnya bersinergi dengan lembutnya membuat tiap hati & mata terpaku. Aku akan tunggu disini...dengan tiap jumput hati.
Walau tiap tanya sering rasuki..tapi hati hampir pasti
Hanya tiap retaknya apakah akan Kau tutupi...


By Anddy Steven
22 March 2010

PROJECT NOVENIA 02 - CURTAIN OF DAYS

The gleaming water greets me that dawn,
Of crystal clear blue horizon ahead..
My somewhat called past just flipped open,
There were pieces of papers in my mind..

Who has arranged them to be in so disorderly manners?
Was it mother earth who silently weeping as I stand upon the soft sand?
Or was it the great Neptune who mercilessly sent the waves crashing to the cliffs in front of me?

I realized, life is not ours to arrange..
Let it find its path..
In the most orderly ways that One can imagine,
To Thee, the mighty ruler of heaven, I submit all..
For I am only a tiny piece of pebbles in Your mountain of rocks,
For You are the beholder of my heart, mind and soul..

The moment I close my curtain of this day in the silent prayers for Your blessings and grace upon us..

Amen..

Novenia - 20.03.2010 - 1.20

PROJECT NOVENIA 02: Falling

Your eyes are the ocean;
And I'm drowned in it.

How can I want so much

something
I know so little of?

Your touch is the wet sand;
And I'm wrapped in it.
How can I miss so much
something
I have never had?

Your lips are the cool breeze;
And I'm swept in it.
How can I reap so much
something
I haven't sown before?

March 3, 2010
19:25 Irish Time ^^

PROJECT NOVENIA 02 - MAIN SOURCE

PROJECT YANI 02: MOONSTONE'S TALES

Truly lavished by pseudo sight.
Truly inspired by the world of none.
I seek to be God of this phantasm world,
unto a sleepless tales unborn.
In my hands I could do might.
In my eyes the witches were fun.
Met the warlocks and the sages told,
told me a sleepless tales unborn.

And so an ardor of fantasy be considered
by the sacred light, a Moonstone bewildered!

Alex Jhon
a.k.a. MOONSTONE