Contradictions..

You know..

When you are pretty, sometimes you think High

When you are smart, you see beyond imagination

When you think you are not smart, when failures become a habit

You would think you are a looser indeed.

When you think GOD not even fair enough, after you can breath on free air

When you see your work just as a job that need to be done

When you wake up and believe that this is just another day of your boring life

You would think to end all of your days by putting pity on yourself

But hey...life is not square

It was built to teach you on each day

It was shaped with elements that will inspire you on each path

It was created to make you able to see things beyond reality, beyond what eyes can see

Life is round, and you have to take each walk with certain level of certainty

Life is not a box

Its dimensions will force you to accommodate changes

Each difficulties will ask you to step differently without loosing you true identity

To see beyond the sky and face failure as another step of success

and to trust GOD even more...

And wait till life is answered....

Anddy Steven 7.05.11

ROCK YOUR LIFE!

Project Anddy 02 True Shine

Deliberately, darkness had reached deep into lights

It went deeper into soul…my soul

Everything seems pitch black, with tears dropping white.

Flowing like air streaming dull,

how can I breath in the deepest ocean?

Deeper & deeper, with pain and sorrow

It’s like a nest full of crow

The inclination of hatred and shallow

Walking down the hole

With empty hands farsighted never ending tomorrow.

Standing is just too hard to digest

Till the light burst with compassion

Touching every bit of wound rest in my locked chest

Opening every corner of pain

Swallow the pity of heart

With a white tough Knights

You came with the sweetness of joy

Bring True shine that alight the darkness

Perches into soul once unreachable…

Your light is a blessing into this heart….

And with all the heavenly power…I will hold it eternally.

By Anddy Steven

PROJECT ALEX 02 -The Essence of Heart

Essence of Heart!

Romeo:

Yes Its me..

Again..

Wording out loud in the open

Uttering the voices that can’t be heard by your mind.

To speak loud & clear, to make you hear of what my mind wants to say…

It’s just about this Romeo that need perfection

Life, breath, dream and hope

Not to mention the spirit lies within

To embrace true soul of your piece of heart

Can’t it be a dream in the sun???

Juliet:

Oh, is it you?

No it can’t be…

I swear upon the universe, that this can’t be!

This is, whatever this is, it is not true!

Perhaps, perhaps, I am going mental as the voices become blurry each second…

My heart…

She becomes weak and fragile every time your soft voice linger

Alas, your enduring silence holds me back all this year!

I was there at the corner of your heart,

Wanting, waiting and withering…

And now you dare to utter those cruel words that have kept me in the dark all this time?!

Romeo:

Cruel it is then..

When the soft tender voices that try to embrace thee..

The whole idea is simplicity of heart…I want you to be the beholder of my half soul

But you broke it into pieces of scattered dream..hanging up high

where no hand could reach

What I have is pure yet earnest.

But why I’m bleeding now, being pushed and derelict?

Juliet:

I did not pushed you!

How dare you punish me with those cruel and cold words to me!!

Breaking every inch of my bones, of my heart, of my soul…

I used to linger for your touch, for your voice, for your kiss

But now the ghost inside of me detest you!

Now after years of yearning, you are not the Romeo I hoped for…

Romeo:

Yet even those words..even those last words

I will wait for thee..even deep in my hatred

My sincere heart will remains..loving thee bit by bit

Second each second..drop by drop

Pieces by pieces..

My tender heart is as certain as death

As eternity as the Flame of Syeol

…my love will remain.

6 March 2010

Written by Anddy Steven & Deisha

PROJECT NOVENIA 02 - When I Dream of Blue & Gray

When I dream of Blue & Gray

Ingin kupetik rimanya saat kutatap tiap sudut jiwa di tepian batu itu. Tapi a pa sanggupku hanya seonggok pria hampir tua yang tak menarik apa-apa selain tiap tetes derita di sepanjang hidupnya. Tapi yang patut dipikirkan oleh sang BATU di tengah adalah Pria ini renta karena Semangatnya.

Namun, aku seperti ingin bisu saja hingga tak ucapkan kata-kata. Ingin aku hanya bisa diam saja dan tak gerakkan tiap sel otak ini untuk berhenti berpikir dan tidak meratap.

Namun...biru lautnya terus bangkitkan semangat..hingga bilapun kau tidak menjawabku aku tetap akan menahan setiap segi-segi jiwaku untuk rapatkan di dermagamu.

Mungkin aku sekarang hanya berjalan di Tepi..bermimpi menaruh batuku sendiri di atas hamparan biru yg indah dari dirimu.

Aku sudah ingin duduk saja nikmati sisanya...biar indahnya bersinergi dengan lembutnya membuat tiap hati & mata terpaku. Aku akan tunggu disini...dengan tiap jumput hati.
Walau tiap tanya sering rasuki..tapi hati hampir pasti
Hanya tiap retaknya apakah akan Kau tutupi...


By Anddy Steven
22 March 2010

PROJECT YANI 02: It's not BLUE

Its not Blue…


When the great word being spoken by those tender lips
Well they come in one purpose..
To hand and to hold
Then why the sky is not blue no more

When the declaration struck the joy of happiness
To slain loneliness. define emptiness
But one sun and moon
All can be seen through
That darkness it no longer exist
Nor pain
Nor hunger
Nor warm
Nor compassion
Not even love…it has been inflamed
With hatred

My heroines…pitfalls…death
All these years of happiness..
Three full moons departed loudly within the poor soul
Those kisses should be mine
Those hugs should be mine
Those smile..
Those hands..
Those missing hearts….
Those joyful moments….
Ooh Lord takes it away spoken out loud in fierce cry
LORD allow your firm hands to touch and smash it!!

I give thee all I can imagine
All thoughts in deepest dream and perfection in words
Delivering the best items exist
Touching with every blast of spoon
Dancing with every sorrow and pain

NOW..this very moment when the truth uncover its seal..
NOW I am standing here facing each wind that blows out
Alone…
With all great nightmares
Hunting down this soul with abandonment
Seeking truth, that buried down. Shattered in pieces like sand
Its not blue anymore

I feel the blue
Inside this deep sorrow
Unforgettable lies
Break the silence of dream
Its not blue…only a heart without a clue
That nightmare could be defined in such way

Its not blue anymore when those doors are meant to be fooled
Seeking justification of this reality of dream…
Standing…cryin…
Till the sun drop dead with pity.
Its just not blue anymore….
I was broken twice............................................

by Anddy Steven
in Memoriam of 2 - 8 January 2010

PROJECT ALEX 01: DARK

When will you come upon this face you bitter dark
flowing through the silent heart
eat me through with your tender desire
cut my heartbeat in existence, swallow every part of hope
no matter hard I try, your hard face touch my penniless sense

I try and I try...even when i have to loose all breath and blood
You evil destiny..why man always blame on thee
I took your every hand..but I keep falling apart like angels without wings
no perfection is needed.

I want to embrace you sweet sun...
my sweet rose of bright star..
but you slipped your hand through my hope
You broke it apart like demons broke the heaven
You took my breath away

Please be here in every moments of my dream
please don't take it away
Please point your fingers on me...with pride swallowed.
please don't destroy the perfectness of joy....
Please..I will never walk again
the death of my half soul

Fly in the mist of sorrow
where i can't reach..
its too deep to swim in
i fall in the darkness
cornered...dragged...
no way to survive

I..Me...my lone soul
crying in depth
crying in dry land
crying in early summer
crying without water
I was born to telling you the true Magic Word of LOVE
but i was down on my knee..begging every breath you take
Reaching with empty Jar of hope

Dear sweet Olive...
In the death of my sorrow soul
I will diggin
I will climbin
I will reachin
see through every hope and light
go down to every bit of pieces.....
lookin for your existence to fill this empty bottle of mine

I love you with no question!
but Now the words will vanished with the dance of death...
with the perish dreams...
and lost hope,,
lost memory,,
taken,,
lone,,
bit,,
one,,
l,,

Loneliness,,Deepest DARK...
when thou bring JOY!
I cry in the corner!!!

PS:Dedicated in Memorial of 31st January 2008 at the peak of BNI 46 Cilantro 3 - 7 PM
May my dream last....in the sweet can of my heart!

PROJECT ANDDY 01: Emptyness

I want to run this tears like the clouds
vanished through the coldest win
when the sky and air won't be together
Screaming the unspoken words
Is it me who is dreaming?

Or just the sky is too high to be reach?
You and your purest soul will be thrown away with despair
falling down like snow and cracking inside soul

The EMPTY NESS rest in my soul
without cover
without heart
without care
that drag me into death

PROJECT ANDDY 01: MAIN SOURCE

PROJECT NOVENIA 01: JAUH tak Sinar

Bila rasa menjemput pergi
Bila takut menerpa sendi
Tanpa ragu menuai rindu
Adakah sejumput rasa atau ragu??

Namun saat tiap hembusan atur rimanya
Atau saat hasrat padamkan jemari hati
Adakah harap menanti dgn tangan terbuka??

Berlari lalu diam tanpa henti
Menanti sebuah jawab jutaan ragu
Adakah segenggam rasa menjemput

Atau hanya jauh tak sinar
Jauh di sudut dan tepian hati
Hingga getarnya mencapai guncangan jiwa

aku menanti disini mencari setitik terang melahap
Tiap kegelapan kisi-kisi jiwa

PROJECT YANI 01: I'M A PERISH SOUL!

I'M A PERISH SOUL!

what am i without soul?
Another empty lot to fill
'Tis pretty old fool with unruly light
The soul without air
The smile with tears

What a person without fashion
Only an empty bag crush with light
A bottle of sand in the dramatic ocean

What a year without days
Only months of pain
In the reality of sorrow
No devinest state with open wound

What a day without smile
Only tears cry ages through ages

Im here in the middle
On the corner of dream
Under the shade of pitfalls
Beside the unsteady salt water
Just infront of the dream

This persona will wait
'Till the sun smile and dry cry...
In the perish soul time will die.

by Anddy