SCHREIBER: Bertengger meremas kerumunan awan di atas gunung para pemimpi. Meresapi, menutup mata. Berdiri dan berharap untuk mengetahui sebuah dogma dan mempelajarinya dalam-dalam. Kalau aku lelah, aku pun segera duduk di singgasana kokohku--yang terbuat dari tanah sampai angkasa; Dari keringat sampai darah. Aku membuatnya sendiri. Aku membuatnya dari masa bertelanjang kaki sampai dengan, terbang dengan iringan sayap kupu-kupu berwarna-warni.
Dan, ada saja... Orang-orang Awan menggerutu mengenai perihal impianku. Bah! Aku tidak bicara bahasa Awan. Maaf. Aku hanya bisa berbicara Cahaya. Awan bagiku terlalu rapuh, terlalu mudah terhasut angin. Nah! Coba lihat Cahaya, lihat! Demikian terang, halus, abstrak, bisa juga menyembuhkan dan membunuh harapan. Mengapa pula aku harus memahami orang-orang Awan? Apa sebab? Apa? Percuma! Aku tidak butuh mereka! Tidak butuh! Aku hanya butuh sensasi cahaya. Sebab aku sendiri adalah cahaya...
Cahaya bisa muncul dari segala arah dan rupa, dari berkehendak hingga tak bermakna. Awan? Yah, segitu-gitu saja. Sekedar menggantung tidak jelas untung. Memang tinggi dan kalem, tetapi apakah jaminan? Menjadi Awan membuatmu paling tinggi dari semua makhluk? Apakah... mampu berbicara dan berperilaku menjadi Awan adalah sebuah barometer kepintaran absolut? Bah! Kalau begitu aku jadi Tuhan kalau bisa bicara bahasa Awan, dong?
Terima kasih atas tawarannya, para khalayak luas di bawah sana. Terima kasih. Aku sudah nyaman menjadi Cahaya. Sebutlah aku tidak tahu aturan, liar dan tidak berpotensi besar. Tetapi aku yakin akan arahku kemana. Aku sekarang berada di atas gunung sang pemimpi yang para Awan pun sering kerumuni tetapi, kalian tidak bisa melihatku jelas bukan? Yah begitulah, begitulah kalau kalian berpersepsi rada-rada pas khas Awan-awan. Ujung jempol kakiku... apakah kelihatan? Padahal aku rawat lho? Tidak kelihatan bukan? Makanya, belajar juga persepsi Cahaya! Kalau perlu dari Daun, Batu, Kayu sampai Bakteri, Kotoran, hajar semua sekalian! Pelajari sampai mampus! Baru kalian PANTAS jadi Tuhan! (Alex Jhon, Desember 26, 2009)
12/23/09
PROJECT ANDDY 01: SOMEDAY
Someday..
I’ll climb that highest point..
Go beyond the clouds and over the horizon..
Someday..
I’ll swim in the deepest sea..
Embracing the cold dark of nothingness..
Someday..
I’ll run across the green fields..
Run like there will be no tomorrow..
‘Till that day come..
I’ll just continue on building my castles in the air..
I’ll just live life with eagerness..
I’ll just be here..
Novenia - 23/12/2009 - 23.09
I’ll climb that highest point..
Go beyond the clouds and over the horizon..
Someday..
I’ll swim in the deepest sea..
Embracing the cold dark of nothingness..
Someday..
I’ll run across the green fields..
Run like there will be no tomorrow..
‘Till that day come..
I’ll just continue on building my castles in the air..
I’ll just live life with eagerness..
I’ll just be here..
Novenia - 23/12/2009 - 23.09
12/20/09
PROJECT ANDDY 01: For You
Will I see you there?
Amidst the clouds,
Beyond the tree tops,
Will you be there?
Searched through the valley,
Dived through the oceans,
Waiting for the prophecy,
Wondering what it means…
The sky is the answer,
And ‘tis the only place
I’ve not come to face
For I always fear her.
I’m simply an earthworm,
Have no feathers to fly
When I’m forced to die
Once I slip out of form.
But, will I find you?
I shall wriggle and slither
To the highest peak up there
If ‘tis what I am to do.
Only tell me truly
That you’ll be there
For I can never bear
The risk of falling idly.
Amidst the clouds,
Beyond the tree tops,
Will you be there?
Searched through the valley,
Dived through the oceans,
Waiting for the prophecy,
Wondering what it means…
The sky is the answer,
And ‘tis the only place
I’ve not come to face
For I always fear her.
I’m simply an earthworm,
Have no feathers to fly
When I’m forced to die
Once I slip out of form.
But, will I find you?
I shall wriggle and slither
To the highest peak up there
If ‘tis what I am to do.
Only tell me truly
That you’ll be there
For I can never bear
The risk of falling idly.
12/11/09
PROJECT NOVENIA 01: JAUH tak Sinar
Bila rasa menjemput pergi
Bila takut menerpa sendi
Tanpa ragu menuai rindu
Adakah sejumput rasa atau ragu??
Namun saat tiap hembusan atur rimanya
Atau saat hasrat padamkan jemari hati
Adakah harap menanti dgn tangan terbuka??
Berlari lalu diam tanpa henti
Menanti sebuah jawab jutaan ragu
Adakah segenggam rasa menjemput
Atau hanya jauh tak sinar
Jauh di sudut dan tepian hati
Hingga getarnya mencapai guncangan jiwa
aku menanti disini mencari setitik terang melahap
Tiap kegelapan kisi-kisi jiwa
Bila takut menerpa sendi
Tanpa ragu menuai rindu
Adakah sejumput rasa atau ragu??
Namun saat tiap hembusan atur rimanya
Atau saat hasrat padamkan jemari hati
Adakah harap menanti dgn tangan terbuka??
Berlari lalu diam tanpa henti
Menanti sebuah jawab jutaan ragu
Adakah segenggam rasa menjemput
Atau hanya jauh tak sinar
Jauh di sudut dan tepian hati
Hingga getarnya mencapai guncangan jiwa
aku menanti disini mencari setitik terang melahap
Tiap kegelapan kisi-kisi jiwa
12/4/09
PROJECT NOVENIA 01: Forbidden
Forever…
That’s what you promise me.
Beneath these dying branches,
Among these pink petal storms,
With an unearthly soulfully kiss,
You seal the deal of immortality.
No regrets can be made
For the promise can be unbroken.
I have you, what can I want?
We shall share the damnation.
Let them cast us out of Eden.
I need those wings no more.
I have you, what can I want?
The wrathful flame may burn us,
The merciless pain may inflict us,
Never-ending punishment.
Yet, for us time stops there:
One autumn when the dawn breaks,
Surrounded by cherry blossoms,
Shedding their tears for us,
Who found love unblessed by fate,
Who are cursed by the unity,
Forever…
That’s what you promise me.
Beneath these dying branches,
Among these pink petal storms,
With an unearthly soulfully kiss,
You seal the deal of immortality.
No regrets can be made
For the promise can be unbroken.
I have you, what can I want?
We shall share the damnation.
Let them cast us out of Eden.
I need those wings no more.
I have you, what can I want?
The wrathful flame may burn us,
The merciless pain may inflict us,
Never-ending punishment.
Yet, for us time stops there:
One autumn when the dawn breaks,
Surrounded by cherry blossoms,
Shedding their tears for us,
Who found love unblessed by fate,
Who are cursed by the unity,
Forever…
12/3/09
PROJECT NOVENIA 01: Sakura
“Winter is here..”
That was the only line she could think of when she gazed out from her bedroom window. The freezing cold air touches her pale skin when she walked pass the small opening on that window. “ugh..It’ll be harsh this month..” she mumbled. Trying to reach for the knob and with one stroke she sealed that window close and drew her breath. Light haze coming out from her nostrils. She still remembers what has happened last month. It seemed like only yesterday.
It was that particular day, one month ago, early in the morning. She woke up with the same freezing wind that has opened her window. A young woman of only 24, she was at the pinkest of her health. She rushed out from her bedroom and didn’t even bother to close the windows. Made a stop at her wardrobe, wore her turtleneck, a pair of jeans and her favorite running shoes. She did this every single morning for almost a week now. She rushed out, slammed the door, and walked over the asphalt path.
The Sakura trees on the garden in front of her house have shed their leaves and flowers. They looked like scrawny twigs pointing to the sky as if saying “I’ve done my part. Now I shed little pieces of my soul for you to collect..” Sakura trees were calling her. These trees have made her left her comfortable warm bed each day just to be with them. She loves to see them, to admire their beauty, to imagine as if those falling petals were flakes of snow.
She was walking and making occasional stops, paying attention to all the details she could catch among the patterns of the falling Sakura petals and leaves when she realized there were something different about them today. They’re not the usual delicate silky pink petals but they’ve become rugged, somewhat harsh and crumpled on the edges. “What has happened?” She Though. “There must be something happened to them last night when I was asleep..” She continued. Despite the questions playing in her head, she moved on and scrutinized all the petals she could view and lay her hand on.
At some point, she stumbled upon a log on the ground. She fell face forward and got quite amazed with what she saw in front of her. More and more logs on the ground, seemed like someone had done some tree cutting yesterday. She paid more attention to the tree barks. There was something moving inside. She took a closer look into one of the barks lying not far from her. She got herself straight up, and suddenly held her breath for what she has seen a few seconds ago would change her life forever..
Inside the barks, she found tiny little creatures with pointed ears, red cheeks, red noses, wearing little caps, one button jacket, short pants, and green boots. “Am I dreaming?” she rubbed her eyes, close and open them several times and still see the same thing. These creatures are busily cleaning up their little chambers, walking, communicating and sometimes stumbled upon the roots and tiny things inside the tree bark. Seemed like they are going to move out from what seemed to be their home. They look cute and friendly, so she decided to make some form of communication with them. “Hey there..” She said softly. None of the creatures noticed her. She makes a second attempt. “Hey you! Little guys! Hello..can we speak?” She speaks louder. This time one of the tiny men notices her. He seems surprised, make a little screeching sound and inform his friends. The little group now scatters around inside the bark.
She realized that she might have frightened the little creatures. She moved away and decided to come back later. The next day she tried to communicate with them again. They are still busy moving but they’ve slowly aware of her peering at them and didn’t run away in fear when they saw her. One thing for sure, they didn’t speak the same language. So she can’t understand what they were saying and seemed like they didn’t understand our language too. So, as the day passed, she’ll just see them from time to time and checking out their progress of moving out.
On the fifth day, they have finished moving. During the process she followed them to their new house. It was inside one of the oldest Sakura tree in that park. The soft and silky pink velvety touch that she had always liked was back. She learned that those tiny little creatures are the keepers of the trees. When human destroy their home, it will also destroy the leaves and petals.
During the time of her observing, once she brought a container full with her favorite fruit, peaches. She was crunching and gnawing at the fruits when she accidentally dropped little pieces of the fruit near one of the little men. He picked them up, sniff a little, making little sounds informing the others and they looked at her. She can almost swear that it was the first time they looked at her in the eyes. She makes a gesture of biting into a chunk of the fruit. They followed her; put the little pieces into their mouth and crunch at them. Little smiles! She can see little smiles on their faces! She becomes excited. She dropped more little pieces and they enjoy them together.
It has been a month. Winter comes. She always loves winter. She closed the window, gazed upon those scrawny trees again, put on her jacket and walked toward the refrigerator. She took out a plastic container full with little pieces of peaches and rushed out into the trees. She can’t wait to meet them today. Really can’t wait to meet the little Sakura men who love peaches and see their beautiful tiny smiles again.
Novenia; December 3, 2009 - 10.30 pm11/24/09
PROJECT NOVENIA 01: Monolog Ariallo
ARIALLO: Sudah seabad aku memupuk seorang bayi. Bayi yang kuciptakan dengan kelopak-kelopak bunga dan rentetan mesiu inspirasi. Tidak ada satupun yang menempel di ari-ari bayiku! Bayi ini... Ah! Bayi ini! Aku sudah menyiapkan rencana termatang, termatang yang pernah ada. Walau bukanlah aku dewa, tetapi sudahlah bisa diriku sendirian, mempersiapkan perjalanan bayiku yang ekstravagant di dunia ini! Membentuknya dengan cita rasa. Mengenalkannya dengan orang-orang asing; Orang-orang yang aku sendiri tidak tahu apakah mereka akan cocok dengan bayiku atau tidak.
Anakku, bayiku yang setengah matang... Kebingunganlah sungguh aku menciptakanmu seorang diri. Orang-orang memimpikanmu ini dan itu. Dari kembang sampai pohon. Dari pohon hingga taman. Tetapi aku hanya bisa menatap jalan setapak. Aku enggan berjalan melewati pinggiran taman. Mengapa? Oh Anakku, aku hanya ingin tujuanmu lahir jelas! Aku hanya ingin engkau tahu bahwa, aku menciptakanmu karena, orang-orang ingin melihatmu. Dan mungkin, hati kecil ini juga ingin melihat apakah... apakah sanggup aku menjadi seorang impressario? Mungkin, anakku... mungkin.
Anakku, bayiki yang setengah matang... Suarakanlah ide! Aku sudah mendengarkan lantunan angin taman yang sudah kudengarkan khidmat. Tetapi, dimanakah suaramu. Lantunkanlah Soprano ataupun Tenor-mu, apapun jenis daripadamu, walaupun engkau adalah Mezzo tetapi, Alas! Aku akan tetap mendidikmu dalam jalur setapak yang telah aku siapkan. Suara serempak khalayak banyak! Di mana semua tanah adalah cerah dan semerbak indah.
Aku masih disini, masih mencoba menerima serangan ucapan-ucapan orang mati, yang lebih mengerti calon anakku daripadaku. Aku masih disini, masih mencoba menelan bulir-bulir pasir yang aku saring dari saripati bunga-bunga yang dapat bernyanyi indah. Ah! Sungguhlah aku seperti melayang, mulai terbang menuju awan tertinggi, ditemani rentetan kasur bunga yang membuatku nyaman dan hampir terlelap tenang... Tetapi tidak!!! Sial, tidak! Anakku belum matang! Aku belum bisa tidur... Oh anakku, kumohon segeralah berucap lalu berdiri dan berlari melewati jalan setapak di taman yang sudah aku ciptakan. Aku sudah lelah, orangtua juga butuh tidur-- (Alex Jhon, November 25, 2009)
Anakku, bayiku yang setengah matang... Kebingunganlah sungguh aku menciptakanmu seorang diri. Orang-orang memimpikanmu ini dan itu. Dari kembang sampai pohon. Dari pohon hingga taman. Tetapi aku hanya bisa menatap jalan setapak. Aku enggan berjalan melewati pinggiran taman. Mengapa? Oh Anakku, aku hanya ingin tujuanmu lahir jelas! Aku hanya ingin engkau tahu bahwa, aku menciptakanmu karena, orang-orang ingin melihatmu. Dan mungkin, hati kecil ini juga ingin melihat apakah... apakah sanggup aku menjadi seorang impressario? Mungkin, anakku... mungkin.
Anakku, bayiki yang setengah matang... Suarakanlah ide! Aku sudah mendengarkan lantunan angin taman yang sudah kudengarkan khidmat. Tetapi, dimanakah suaramu. Lantunkanlah Soprano ataupun Tenor-mu, apapun jenis daripadamu, walaupun engkau adalah Mezzo tetapi, Alas! Aku akan tetap mendidikmu dalam jalur setapak yang telah aku siapkan. Suara serempak khalayak banyak! Di mana semua tanah adalah cerah dan semerbak indah.
Aku masih disini, masih mencoba menerima serangan ucapan-ucapan orang mati, yang lebih mengerti calon anakku daripadaku. Aku masih disini, masih mencoba menelan bulir-bulir pasir yang aku saring dari saripati bunga-bunga yang dapat bernyanyi indah. Ah! Sungguhlah aku seperti melayang, mulai terbang menuju awan tertinggi, ditemani rentetan kasur bunga yang membuatku nyaman dan hampir terlelap tenang... Tetapi tidak!!! Sial, tidak! Anakku belum matang! Aku belum bisa tidur... Oh anakku, kumohon segeralah berucap lalu berdiri dan berlari melewati jalan setapak di taman yang sudah aku ciptakan. Aku sudah lelah, orangtua juga butuh tidur-- (Alex Jhon, November 25, 2009)
PROJECT YANI 01: I'M A PERISH SOUL!
I'M A PERISH SOUL!
what am i without soul?
Another empty lot to fill
'Tis pretty old fool with unruly light
The soul without air
The smile with tears
What a person without fashion
Only an empty bag crush with light
A bottle of sand in the dramatic ocean
What a year without days
Only months of pain
In the reality of sorrow
No devinest state with open wound
What a day without smile
Only tears cry ages through ages
Im here in the middle
On the corner of dream
Under the shade of pitfalls
Beside the unsteady salt water
Just infront of the dream
This persona will wait
'Till the sun smile and dry cry...
In the perish soul time will die.
by Anddy
11/23/09
PROJECT YANI 01: Once Blossomed
Her back flat against the ground,
Drowned in a puddle of mud
And freshly slashed blood.
It's over... finally.
She won!
Her enemy called Life
Is now dying,
Here in the lowest ravine.
She's one of them after all:
Those tiny green plants
Whose puny roots
Can penetrate any rock
So long as there is light.
She arches her head
As she bids farewell
To the world never true.
Oh, she had lost her Light.
Her leaves now begin to dry,
Her roots soon shall die.
No regrets...
At least she blossomed once.
Drowned in a puddle of mud
And freshly slashed blood.
It's over... finally.
She won!
Her enemy called Life
Is now dying,
Here in the lowest ravine.
She's one of them after all:
Those tiny green plants
Whose puny roots
Can penetrate any rock
So long as there is light.
She arches her head
As she bids farewell
To the world never true.
Oh, she had lost her Light.
Her leaves now begin to dry,
Her roots soon shall die.
No regrets...
At least she blossomed once.
PROJECT YANI 01: Little Feet
These little feet,
slowly stepping up the moss covered stairs.
Little feet dance..
They might not know when they will reach the top.
They can’t resist the bright light..
Slow and sure these little feet stepping up the stone.
Bear the wet green moss and bear the cold stone touch.
They dance and dance and dance..
One day..
These little feet will reach the gate.
One day..
These little feet will see what’s behind the orb.
One day.. One day..
(Novenia - November 24, 2009 - 1.10 a.m)
slowly stepping up the moss covered stairs.
Little feet dance..
They might not know when they will reach the top.
They can’t resist the bright light..
Slow and sure these little feet stepping up the stone.
Bear the wet green moss and bear the cold stone touch.
They dance and dance and dance..
One day..
These little feet will reach the gate.
One day..
These little feet will see what’s behind the orb.
One day.. One day..
(Novenia - November 24, 2009 - 1.10 a.m)
PROJECT YANI 01: Monolog Fanatissa
FANATISSA: Apakah yang berarti Goa Kehidupan? Yang berarti bukan? Yang berarti kesempurnaan? Aku tidak mengenal Goa Kehidupan ini sangat. Aku menciptakan-Nya dengan imaji horor dan keterbelakangan. Aku menyebutnya, Yang Segalanya. Dan, orang-orang percaya padaku, mendengarkanku dan berusaha mendaki yang aku sendiri belum sampai disana!
Oh, ajaibnya Goa Kehidupan yang aku ciptakan! Ini tidak sama dengan Gua Kehidupan kalian! Ini adalah Goa Kehidupan yang kubuat dengan pelan-pelan, melalui parau para budak anarkis dan kerbau buta cucuk penurut! Mereka adalah makanan bagi Goa Kehidupanku. Tanpa lenguhan mereka, Goa Kehidupanku pasti ambruk!
Apa engkau sudah melihat tepian langit? Apakah engkau sudahlah takut mendengar kata kegelapan? Apakah engkau, wahai kawanku yang bukan penghuni Goa Kehidupanku, pasti melihat cahaya ataupun gelap? Ah! Setiap inci pertanyaanmu membuatku terpana dalam lautan kata-kata kreasi fana, merajutnya dengan benang kebencian dan kefanatikan alam durja, manusia dengan ego bola dunia!
Kemarilah, kemari… wahai kawanku yang bukanlah aku. Dengarkanlah nada semburan api yang aku ujar dari mulutku yang melebar besar, macam kawah tidak pernah mati, marilah kawan. Tutup mata dan mulutmu, bukalah telingamu, dan dengarkanlah suara-suara yang bukanlah cahaya ataupun gelap, merasukimu. “Kau dengar? Kau sungguh bisa mendengarnya?” Tidak? Ah… Sungguhlah kau…sungguh apa adanya, manusia bejat! Manusia tidak beradab! Manusia najis! Pergilah dari singgasana dan kaum-kaumku, wahai penghuni bukan dari Goa Kehidupanku! Pergi jauh-jauh! Pergi! (Alex Jhon, November 23, 2009)
Oh, ajaibnya Goa Kehidupan yang aku ciptakan! Ini tidak sama dengan Gua Kehidupan kalian! Ini adalah Goa Kehidupan yang kubuat dengan pelan-pelan, melalui parau para budak anarkis dan kerbau buta cucuk penurut! Mereka adalah makanan bagi Goa Kehidupanku. Tanpa lenguhan mereka, Goa Kehidupanku pasti ambruk!
Apa engkau sudah melihat tepian langit? Apakah engkau sudahlah takut mendengar kata kegelapan? Apakah engkau, wahai kawanku yang bukan penghuni Goa Kehidupanku, pasti melihat cahaya ataupun gelap? Ah! Setiap inci pertanyaanmu membuatku terpana dalam lautan kata-kata kreasi fana, merajutnya dengan benang kebencian dan kefanatikan alam durja, manusia dengan ego bola dunia!
Kemarilah, kemari… wahai kawanku yang bukanlah aku. Dengarkanlah nada semburan api yang aku ujar dari mulutku yang melebar besar, macam kawah tidak pernah mati, marilah kawan. Tutup mata dan mulutmu, bukalah telingamu, dan dengarkanlah suara-suara yang bukanlah cahaya ataupun gelap, merasukimu. “Kau dengar? Kau sungguh bisa mendengarnya?” Tidak? Ah… Sungguhlah kau…sungguh apa adanya, manusia bejat! Manusia tidak beradab! Manusia najis! Pergilah dari singgasana dan kaum-kaumku, wahai penghuni bukan dari Goa Kehidupanku! Pergi jauh-jauh! Pergi! (Alex Jhon, November 23, 2009)
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